the thoughts and words of a satirical, unstable sociopath
by ResX
Summary: Stripeheart is an aggressive, lonely soul inheriting the mind of an insane psychopath created by his own Clan. To everyone, the only thing that stands between him and murderous frenzy is a matter of time. No hope, safety or love. Nothing. Except for one cat with nothing to lose and everything to hope for.
1. My Life as a Catch-22

**An Acknowledgement of My Life As A Catch-22**

* * *

Death fascinates me.

Yes, that is the first thing you get to know about me. Congrats.

No, it's not like I killed anyone yet. I'm only gonna be a warrior tomorrow. Geez. I am depressed, though. That I don't contest.

Some say that it's because my mother dies a couple hours after I was born. Some say that I was going to have three sisters if they didn't die the moment they felt air on their fur.

But honestly, you've never been depressed if you just accept the conventional reasons. Not all cases of depression are created equal. If you thought you've been depressed after you missed an easy catch, consider yourself pretty fucking lucky you're not like me.

I'm lucky, though. My reasons for depression and obsession with death are one and the same.

It's not really aforementioned reasons. It's that everyone else would not shut the fuck up about it.

They talk about it more than I do. And they always do it when I'm around.

Seriously? The fuck is wrong with you? StarClan, get a life.

So as you probably guessed, I'm a pretty aggressive person. It's not that I want to start fights. I'm just generally the one to escalate it.

But it's not exactly like it's entirely my fault. It's their fault I turned out this way in the first place.

This has happened on more than one occasion. In fact, it happened at a Gathering once.

I'll give you three seconds to guess how that turned out.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!"

Yeah, I get how that's an insult, but it's stuck with me in a way that many should be concerned about.

He's right.

I'm a sociopath.

A satirical, unstable sociopath.

And to be honest, that's just fine with me.

* * *

**Trying out a new format, as you can see.**

**I'm gonna try to limit every chapter to 500 words. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully, this will lead to less time between every chapter like Ravenstorm's Fall (which I'm still working on. don't worry). Let me know if this is something I should continue.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	2. The Existence of the Ones I Care About

**An Acknowledgement of the Existence of the Ones I Care About**

* * *

My name is Stripeheart.

As you probably have guessed, I was named for the big stripe along my spine. Appropriately, my pelt is gray on gray, dark upon light.

In my opinion, my fur could use a little red. It would be a nice contrast.

I also wish my eyes were a little more colorful. I drew the short straw to get green eyes so pale, they look gray. That means that my entire body is some degree of greyscale.

How ironic.

My mentor isーwas, after todayーGreenpelt. He's alright, not the smartest sheep in the herd, but he knew his way around the bush. Not like he could do anything to fix the real "issues" with me.

Issues, that many have tried, and failed, to smooth.

In the middle of my apprenticeship, the warriors pressured me into a "relationship" with Darkpaw. She seemed alright, but I wouldn't know anything else as she was too scared to come within three feet of me after we first met.

After a couple of pitiful days, I ended it by telling her I was not interested in her.

While she was trying to be nice, I could tell she couldn't be happier.

Who could blame her?

Everyone was pissed off when they found out their grand "hookup-and-pray" plan had been foiled, so everyone either started ignoring me, or yelling at me for even the most obscure shit I do. The ones who ignored me I generally left alone. I can't say the same for the latter, though.

As I said, I've never killed anyone yet, but they pushed me pretty damn close to the brink.

My leader is Squirrelstar, pretty fucking stupid name if you ask me, and she despises me straight up. No lie. And I'm pretty sure I'm the first cat to become a warrior without being allowed onto the Highrock.

If I had a list of who I wanted to kill, she would be third.

The top two would be my parents.

Because those motherfuckers are the ones who left me to rot like this.

Fuck you, mom and dad.

* * *

**I must say I have never before gotten 4-5 reviews on one chapter before, let alone the first one.**

**So it's time for my first ever review response! Yay?**

**Guest - I actually wouldn't call it original. It's sort of a melting pot of the sentence-per-chapter format that's popular on Wattpad and the story "me, you, and what could be called up" with the short chapters. Big fan of that story. Not sponsored I swear.**

**Muzzicat91 - Thanks as always! Your continued support is always appreciated.**

**Ivystorm - Actually, self-diagnosed sociopaths are commonly not sociopaths. Good news?**

**RobinLudgate - Sorry, but I'm sticking with the long title. You don't see a nine-word title in FFN every day.**

**If I can get this much traffic after a 300 word chapter, I think this story is gonna go pretty well.**

**Hey, what's wrong with being confident?**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	3. The Absurd Amount of Cats I Want To Kill

**An Acknowledgement of the Absurd Amount of Cats I Want To Destroy**

* * *

I got into my first fight today.

Chill the fuck out. It wasn't as interesting as you're thinking.

Squirrelstar sent me on a morning patrol alone (a nice way to start your first day as a warrior, I know), and I went across all of the Clan borders. It's not like I want a spotless work ethic, I'd just rather use my opportunity to stay away from everyone in the Clan as much as possible.

No, I'm not one of those introverted hippies that like to take walks in the forest to "clear their mind" or whatever bullshit they do. I just thought I could find a way to ignore both the dipshits at home and the thoughts inside my head. Even though the only you know about this from the thoughts inside my head, there are a whole lot more that nobody would want to hear.

And that's when I found the freedom of hunting.

If you would like to know, 90% of the thoughts I'm not telling you are about death. Killing. Murder. While it would take different blood to truly sate them, this was the perfect kind of excuse to get them to shut up.

Like it or not, this actually happens to me.

Hence, the "unstable" in "satirical, unstable sociopath."

I'm so smart.

So I did the normal procedure. Stalk the prey, jump on the prey, kill the prey, thank StarClan who had nothing to do with me catching the prey, bury the prey, come back for the prey, blah blah blah.

And that's when I was confronted quite harshly (as in being jumped while hunting and being pinned by the throat) by a certain cat that I recognized.

Guess who?

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!"

Either the world is small or the world hates me.

He shouted at me, accusing me for stealing prey, crossing the border and doing bullshit that I obviously didn't do. When I pointed out that he himself had crossed the border to tell me that I had supposedly crossed the border, he slashed me across the face.

It was at that point I knew we weren't going to be friends.

Truth be told, I wanted to do a lot of things to him, among them being impaling him with three branches and ripping him in half lengthwise. But I did neither of those things.

I just said "Get the fuck off of my territory."

That's it.

Wow, I'm such a fucking pushover.

Eventually he did, and when I did with a big scar across my face, I was accused of instigating the fight without even getting to teel my side of the story.

And my list just got bigger.

And that's the story of my first fight.

And now all I can do is hope that now you know my side, you don't hate me and tune me out.

Well, I guess I can also hope that son of a bitch gets hit by a monster and ripped apart by crows.

When you can't find anything positive, you can always hate the world.

Because everyone has something to hate.

* * *

**Let me guess. You hate this guy.**

**If you do, good.**

**If you don't, just you wait.**

**You'll hate him soon.**

**heeheehee.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	4. The Ones Who Just Want Me To Die

**An Acknowledgement of the Ones Who Just Want Me to Die**

* * *

Lo, how the tables have turned.

After the fight yesterday, nobody cared enough to tell me to get my wound treated and now it's infected.

Good for me.

If you haven't had a wound that's been infected, good for you. It feels like someone ripped the wound open, spat in it, filled it with nettles and burned it. Something close to that, at least. In case you need a refresher, This wound was on my face.

So now it feels like half my face has been mutilated.

My life's not just depressing. It's ironic, too.

So I spent the majority of the day in the medicine den, lying on a dirty, uncomfortable nest with my head soaked in some herbs that made my face smell and feel like shit for half the day. Aand to put it frankly, it doesn't help that the medicine cat, Rowanfur, is trying to kill me.

Sides have flipped, indeed.

Don't believe me?

Well, when I first came in, he "forgot" to feed me poppy seeds to dull the pain of applying the herbs (which is less of a method to kill me and more of a dick mov. Fuck you, you son of a bitch), he pulled a double take of "accidentally" slipping a deathberry into a mouse someone halfheartedly threw into my den, and soing a pretty bad "slip-up" when he "mistakenly" almost gave me hemlock instead of daisy.

So I had to politely correct him.

"The fuck are you trying to do, kill me?"

I found it amusing he just stood there, looking like the retard he was, and gave no answer. What the fuck is this, a fucking soap opera?

Another reason why life sucks? It's really hard to decide who I'm gonna kill first. The ones who fucked up my life in the first place, the ones who I just hate now, or the ones that are actively trying to kill me.

Another one of life's big dilemmas.

And if you thought Rowanfur was bad, just look at everyone else that wants to kill me. There's Squirrelstar (probably. She has every reason to do so, but can't lay a hair on me without a reasonable cause), Larkmist (a _very_ straight warrior who is but all too infatuated in going out on patrol, just the two of us, because he and my mother had a sexual fling once, apparently), and Alderleap (you know, the "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH" guy I never shut the fuck up about). Add that with everyone else I mentioned and you basically get me versus the world.

Yaaaaaaay.

In a change of tone, some days I wish I could just have a normal life.

But at this point, to pull that bullshit off, it's gonna take a motherfucking miracle.

* * *

**So I'm now up to 9(!) reviews overall, and I can't help but be a tad disturbed by y'all. Has it been that long since you got a psychotic maniac? Geez.**

* * *

**scarlett quagmire - Thanks. Will do.**

**Ivystorm - Nope. This universe has no canon relations (though I will confess I did take an unnecessary cheap shot at Squirrelflight's name there...).**

**Well, at least you don't feel comfortable enough to support him. That's fine for now.**

**Muziccat91 - ...**

**...**

**Seriously. don't dedicate yourself to this guy. It won't end well.**

* * *

**THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A RELATABLE CHARACTER.**

**I shall prove you wrong in the next two chapters.**

**If it's the last thing I do.**

**muahaha.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	5. The Instinct in Praying for Miracles

**An Acknowledgement of the Instinct in Praying for Miracles (And the Possible Defiance of the Odds of Actually Getting One)**

* * *

The Gathering's tonight.

Whoop-de-fucking-do.

In all honesty, I don't know if I'll be going. It's gonna be a night time decision on whether I'll go or not, but even if they do select me, I probably won't go anyway. Honestly, I have no good reason to go, and Alderleap has probably made some friends since our last "discussions," so for the sake of my own health (which I'm surprised I still care about), I probably won't go anyway.

But it's not like staying in camp is a good idea either. In fact, I'm not safe anywhere. If I go to the Gathering, there will be a fight the moment I breathe, yet if I stay here, I'm stuck with Larkmist, who's on probation after intentionally trying to cross the border, who knows why, and all other cats who will think my life is free real estate the moment Squirrelstar steps out of camp.

So I need to find an excuse to get out of camp before the Gathering, yet manage to stay out of camp until the Gathering is over.

But there's an issue in this plan.

While Squirrelstar and company may not give a fuck about my well-being, they care a _shitload_ abbout their own image. They're pretty pissed at me for the fight that I supposedly "started," so they'll do anything they can to make my life miserable until I confess.

Like my life isn't miserable enough already.

So, StarClan, I know you've been trying to fuck me over my entire life, but please, if that miracle is coming, please send it soon.

* * *

"_Augh!_"

"Ah shit!"

"_The fuck do you think you're doing?_"

"Oh, chill the fuck out. What the hell was that for? You made me lose my catch!"

"_Bitch, you're on _our_ territory._"

"Bitch, a rabbit is a rabbit. I don't give a fuck about boundary if it feeds me."

"_The fuck did you just call me?_"

"Now if you excuse me…"

"_Hey! Get your ass back here now!_"

"Why the fuck should I listen to you?"

"_Because I'm the fucking deputy of the territory that you just invaded!_"

"...oh shit."

"_I won't repeat myself again. Get your ass back here. Now._"

"..."

"_There we go. Now, I have a couple questions before I take you back to my superior._"

"ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ…"

"_SHUT THE FUCK UP!_"

"Geez, okay, okay, okay…"

"_Now...what's your name?"_

"..."

"_Well?_"

"You know what, fuck this. Let me just grab my rabbit and then I can be-"

"_NAME!_"

"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU ALMOST SLIT MY-"

"_**GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING NAME!**_"

"..."

"_..._"

"...Stripeheart…"

"..."

"What?"

"..._well, fuck me in the ass…"_

"Hey! The fuck is wrong with my name?"

"_You're the cat that Alderleap attacked yesterday._"

"Yes! Now can I please...wait, did you say…?"

"_Yes, I know everyone's saying that he attacked you, but I saw the whole thing and-_"

"..."

"_I just...I wanted to say I'm sorry at the Gathering, but you weren't there, and…_"

"You…*snicker* _You_ wanted to apologize to _me_?!"

"_The fuck are you laughing about?_ _I can tell by your patches that the wound got infected."_

"..."

"_I know. It's stupid and it makes be sound infatuated with you even though we never met, but I just...I'm that kind of cat, and I know how much the feeling sucks when you don't get your money's worth."_

"Well, I'm right here."

"_Indeed you are, so...I'm sorry._"

"Uh...thanks? Now can I please get the fuck out of here?"

"_Yeah, sure...I guess."_

"..."

"..."

"You know, I never got your name."

"_What?_"

"Your name. What's your name?"

"_Meh...Names are overrated._"

"Bitch, you asked for mine."

"_Okay, okay...it's Flowertail._"

"Hm...not bad. Could use some improvement though."

"_Hah, hah. Fuck you._"

"Fuck you, too. Goodnight."

"_Goodnight._"

* * *

Holy shit.

Holy. Fucking Shit.

They _actually_ listened.

Thank you StarClan.

Thank you.

* * *

**So I've delayed my efforts in making Stripeheart unlikable until further notice.**

**You guys never give up, do you?**

* * *

**Reviews!**

**RobinLudgate - Ah good. Glad that's cleared up.**

**Where do you think the term "crowfood" from.**

**Your vote hath been tallied, my liege.**

**Jayfeather's Friend - Ah, poetic justice. Something you, my friend, are quite familiar with, am I right?**

**Ivystorm - Ah, go ahead and hug him all you want. I don't give a fuck at this point :P**

* * *

**So Flowertail has entered the arena. Backstory coming soon! Stay tuned!**

**(She might not live as long as you think... :) )**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	6. Fear of Obsession and Loss of Solitude

**An Acknowledgement of the Fear of Obsession and Loss of Desire for Solitude**

* * *

I can't get her out of my head.

This is horrible.

I'm not supposed to think about her this much. I'm not supposed to think about anyone this much.

We had one conversation. One!

She probably doesn't like me anyway. She cussed me out! There is no way she probably even remembers me!

Stop. Thinking. About. Her.

FUCK!

…

We just met yesterday. I can't even think of anything that's not about her.

This has got to be a phase. I must be relapsing through puberty or some shit. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Okay, okay, okay. Chill the fuck out. I probably don't even remember her name. That's probably for the best. I don't ever need to see her again.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

_Flowertail._

_Flowertail._

_Flowertail._

"_It's Flowertail."_

"Hm...Not bad. Could use some improvement."

_Wow, I'm full of bullshit._

_Flowertail. What a beautiful name._

Wait…

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Why?

Why am I so obsessed with her?

There's no way she's thinking about me this way, right?

Right?

* * *

"_Fireleaf, have you ever been in love?"_

"You...do realize that I'm the worst cat to ask that question, right?"

"_Shit, you're right. Heh, sorry."_

"No worries. I'm intrigued, actually. You think you're in love?"

"_Psssh. Hell no! It's just...Oakpaw asked me that question and I was caught off guard. You seem to be the kind of cat to give that kind of advice."_

"Well, breaking news! I ain't omnipotent! I don't know everything!"

"_*laughing*_ _Okay...you have a point. I'll go ask Rainstar about it._"

"Why didn't you ask him first? Have you heard the story of him being the "sexy, romantic king" when he was deputy?"

"_You're kidding?! You have to tell me that story sometime!_"

"I will. Go have fun with that awkward conversation."

"..."

"_But if you really want my opinion…?"_

"I'm all ears."

"_I would ask him the eternal moral conflict question of 'Who are you willing to sacrifice everything for?' If he says the textbook answer of 'everything for the Clan,' he's not ready for romance yet."_

"And if he says the other, than vice versa? Great! Thanks!"

"_Well, I wouldn't go there yet."_

"Oh? Why not?"

"_Pay very close attention if he gives that answer. There's a chance, however slim, that he's a bit too obsessed for his own good."_

* * *

**Reviews:**

**PhoenixRune - Ah. You must be new here.**

**RobinLudgate - Let's be honest. There's a lot of "behind the scenes" that Erin doesn't talk about. It's probably under "Rated M" in the Warriors FFN section.**

**Ooh, the million dollar question.**

**It's a three-way tie between Bramblestar, Crowfeather and Jayfeather.**

**Ivystorm - I'll give you two some space...**

* * *

**So Stripeheart: Confused or Creepy?**

**I'll leave that up to you to decide, but if I do that, it'll most definitely be the former.**

**Christ, you guys love this guy more than I do.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	7. Love Over Blood and Bodies

**An Acknowledgement of the Will to Fight for Love Over Blood and Bodies**

I've been thinking.

Yes. Big surprise, I know.

As much as I tell that fantastical part of brain to fuck off, I can't convince myself to not think of her. The way she talked to me, treated me as an equal, treated me like I was, you know, _normal_, I can't get out of my head.

I want to see her again.

No, I _need_ to see her again.

In case you decide to call me a hypocrite, I will treat it as though we were having a normal conversation.

In other words, fuck you.

There are some problems, though. If we do decide to become friends, StarClan forbid for my strands of good will, I don't think that part of the brain will allow any excuses to wait for every full moon to see her again. So I need to find a way to make her agree to meet on more often occasions.

I could convince her to meet at the border on occasions like "every other day," but that would require swooning, which is far from my forte in speech. That would be cursing.

I could convince her to switch Clans, but she's deputy, and from what it looked like, she isn't willing to give up that position anytime soon

So I need to convince her to meet me on a regular basis with no objection to us meeting.

Oh, praise StarClan.

There's one way to do that.

War.

I need to start a war.

Actually no, that's a bad idea. Not the war part, that's genius. It's just that I can't try to start a war. Because my Clan will kick me out at a moment's notice.

So someone else needs to start the fighting.

Shit.

No one has a good reason to start a war. Trust me, I can think of a million reasons why each of the four Clans should be ripping each other apart, but it's not like I can tell anyone about it. I just need to wait until someone thought to have much more reason does.

Alright, back to praying. Hooray...

_Dear StarClan._

_I wish there was a war..._

_I wish there was a war..._

_I wish there was a war..._

* * *

_"Alderleap, can you chill the fuck out? There's no reason to lose your shit over lost prey."_

"Aren't you supposed to be all polite and cordial? You are, after all, the all-powerful deputy."

_"Alright, I politely tell you to chill the fuck out."_

"But that was the easiest catch I'll get this entire season! I had the perfect shot and I fucking blew it."

_"Language."_

"Hypocrite."

_"That was weak, Sir-Slips-a-Lot."_

"Fuck you."

_"Fuck you."_

"..."

_"So while we're here..."_

"What now?"

_"Wanna explain why you attacked a defenseless PineClan warrior?"_

"The fuck are you talking about?"

_"You know, the cat that you called a "fucking sociopath" two Gatherings ago?"_

"Bitch, I told you already. He was trespassing on our territory-"

_"'Stealing prey and rearranging the scent markers unfairly' is what the rest of the accusation was?"_

"How did-"

_"And isn't it interesting that there was no scent of PineClan on our own territory."_

"..."

_"I wonder what Rainstar would think of his former apprentice being associated with this reckless behavior."_

"You wouldn't..."

_"I am the deputy, after all."_

"...okay. I'm sorry."

_"Listen, bro. I was serious about what I said after the Gathering."_

"Ah yes. What was that again? 'Talk less, smile more?'"

_"You don't get it, do you."_

"Hell no! Just acting like you're okay with everything you don't agree with is a shitty way to live life! I ain't gonna just stand by and watch."

_"Now if only your testosterone could be in the same place as your brain..."_

"Hold up. Do you smell that?"

_"..."_

"..."

_"..."_

"TorrentClan."

_"Split up. We'll go from both sides."_

"..."

_"..."_

"There's prey buried here. And it's got TorrentClan scent all over it."

_"Shit, you're right."_

"So I was right about them being thick-headed retards..."

_"First of all, that's redundant. Second, we don't know the motive yet..."_

"They buried prey. On our territory. Need I say more?"

_"..."_

"You know I'm right."

_"*sigh* Okay."_

"Fuck yeah!"

_"We still can't know for sure, but if this is what you think it is, this could get ugly real fast. Let's go talk to Rainstar."  
_

* * *

**Back from vacation. Let's get right into it.**

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Ivystorm - Of course you do. (Thanks for the review on "frozen," btw)**

**PhoenixRune - Well, sure. It's possible, but it won't be for long.**

**Meeperton - Indeed.**

**Jayfeather's Friend - We've role-played together for too long...**

* * *

**Gonna get back into it. I go on break in a couple days, so the grind will be back soon.**

**Glad to see y'all are still into this.**

**That's what keeps me from letting this story die.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	8. The First Drafts of Battle Lines

**A First Draft of Battle Lines**

* * *

My name is Flowertail.

I'm the deputy of IvyClan. Have been for the past three moons, so you could still call me a rookie and I just might not rip your face off.

Sorry, too soon?

In general, I'm pretty calm. I've been told I'm a good, clear-headed thinker and can suitably lead a group of cats into battle, but I can get a tad aggressive. It's not like I'm a psychopath or anything, I just have a bit of raw emotion to go with my life.

I blame the motherfuckers that killed my parents.

Cliché, I know. But if it happened to you, you know it _sucks_.

Their murderer was impressively smart, though. No tracks, scent hidden so well that it blended with the territory, killed in the rain, cleaned the wounds to erase any distinctive signs. They were so good and prepared, it's infuriating.

When they died, my brother, Alderleap, and I took it differently. We both desired revenge, but the way it affected our personalities was significant. Sometime in my apprenticeship, my mentor (likely unintentionally) taught me how to channel my anger into benefitting IvyClan. Somehow, I listened and now here I am.

Alderleap, though, wasn't as lucky.

There are some times where being the leader's apprentice can be the greatest prestige among peers, and other times where you get mishandled. Rainstar was a great mentor, don't get me wrong, but he couldn't see the aggravation brewing inside him.

So now he's the most aggressive cat in the Clan, but he's also the best fighter and, according to almost every she-cat around his age, handsome, attractive, charming, blah, blah, blah…

Eugh.

But, I'll admit I was (only a little) proud of him when he kept a cool head as we relayed what we saw to Rainstar.

Rainstar seemed to be more confused than pissed, though. We've been rivals with TorrentClan for so long, and I'm a little concerned he was caught off guard by this a bit too much. He said he'll bring a patrol to TorrentClan to investigate, but he seemed a bit more concerned.

I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. I'll increase border patrols tomorrow, just to be safe.

* * *

"_So…_"

"What?"

"_Where's that 'I told you so' moment I'm anticipating?"_

"Don't feel like it. Too tired."

"_You fucking serious? You've been dreaming of this day for years!"_

"Eh. For the most part, we dream in the dark."

"_The fuck is that supposed to mean?_"

"You tell me. You're the one who can supposedly decipher any metaphor ever."

"_Oh, so this is a metaphor of you dreaming of this moment for so long but you feel unsatisfactory of the feeling as if you expected more."_

"Pffh. Fuck no. We dream when we're asleep. We sleep with our eyes closed. When our eyes are closed, it's dark. Therefore, we dream in the dark."

"_You're kidding."_

"God. Damn. I am totally getting the best of you today, aren't I?"

"_Fuck you. Go to bed._"

"If I must, I bow to your ever-willing command, O Great, Powerful and Honorable Deputy."

"_You're never gonna let me live this down, are you?"_

"Nope. Goodnight!"

"'_Night…"_

* * *

"_Rainstar! Stop the patrol! Someone's hurt!"_

"Ugh…"

"**Who the hell is that?**"

"_No idea. But whoever attacked him clearly didn't like him_."

"**Okay. Okay.** **What's his name?**"

"Agh...what's he say?"

"_What's your name, man?_"

"Ergh...Stripeheart, sir…"

"**You're Stripeheart? You mean you're the cat that acted out at the Gath-"**

"YES! THAT'S ME! CAN YOU GET HELP SO I DON'T DIE?!"

"**What's it look like, Fireleaf?**"

"_It's pretty bad. All of the wounds are deep and he's taken blows to the head and chest. Whoever did this clearly wanted him to suffer._"

"**Alright. Head back to camp and organize a patrol to send him back to PineClan.**"

"_If I may contest, sir, he's near being ripped to shreds. He's in no condition to travel._"

"AHHH FUCK! SHIT! OW OW OW!"

"_ooh shit. Case in point…"_

"**Fair enough. IvyClan! Forget the meeting. We're heading back to camp!**"

"_But sir. What about Torrent-_"

"**TorrentClan can wait. If this cat died on our territory, then we've got two Clans with bad blood for us. Besides, this rain doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon."**

"Aaaagh. StarClan save me...nnngh."

"_Alright everyone! Let's move. Hurry!_"

"**You're gonna be alright, kid. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do."**

* * *

I'm in the IvyClan medicine den.

Everything hurts.

But you know what?

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world.

I'm happy.

* * *

**Reviews**

* * *

**PhoenixRune - Congrats on finding the obvious of the two Hamilton references. Let me know when you find the other and the two in this one.**

**(Yes. That was intentional and I'm so rolling with it. Two per chapter when I can.)**

**Muziccat91 - No worries! Thanks for staying with this story.**

**(1) Okay, they had _one_ conversation, one of the more vulgar non-sexual conversations on this site, and you're already shipping them? Hoo man, I have work to do.**

**(2) I know, Muzic. I know.**

**(3) Achievement Unlocked: Unintentional Subplot Inspiration**

**Jayfeather's Friend - Finally. Some achieved depth.**

**And never bring that name up here ever again. Ever.**

* * *

**So more questions arise! Who attacked Stripeheart? What's up with this rivalry between TorrentClan and IvyClan? Did I accidentally make Alderleap a relatable character? And will the murderer of Flowertail's parents have any plot relevance at all?**

**Try your luck in the review section!**

**I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow. If not, two on Thursday!**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	9. All of Us Have Something to Hide

**An Acknowledgement that All of Us Have Something to Hide**

* * *

"_Morning, sleepynose._"

"Zzz-grk...huh?"

"_Hey. It's me. You know, from that one ni-"_

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"_Sorry to wake you, but I need to ask you a few questions about the night you were attacked."_

"The fuck is this? A professional investigation?"

"_Focus, please. Deputy, remember?"_

"Keenly."

"_Now, what were you doing out that late at night."_

"Hunting. Couldn't sleep."

"_If you were hunting, why were you so close to the TorrentClan border?"_

"The wet pine scent was screwing up my nose. I wanted to move to a place with clearer scents."

"_Well, this is going well so far. Okay, do you remember any of the events leading up to the attack?"_

"..."

"_Stripeheart?"_

"No."

"_Nothing?"_

"Nothing."

"..."

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember anything about the attack."

"_Are you hiding something?"_

"Excuse me?"

"_I'm just saying, because you were reciting the first couple answers like you were reciting the warrior code, but now you just stopped remembe-"_

"Why the fuck would I be hiding something?! You think I know who the attacker is and don't want you to know? What possible motivation do I have to hide anything from you?"

"_Because you were nearly ripped to shreds last night!"_

"So?!"

"_So your attacker clearly had the intent of killing you!"_

"Then why didn't he?!"

"_I don't know, okay?! I don't know because you're not telling me anything!"_

"Have _you_ ever been attacked in the rain?!"

"..."

"Have you ever been jumped by someone who wants you to die a slow and painful death?"

"..."

"Well? Have you?"

"..."

"Flowertail?"

"_*sniff* Excuse me a moment."_

"Hey! What'd I do?!"

"_*sob*"_

"..."

"..."

"FUCK!"

* * *

Well, that went well.

How the fuck did I offend her so much that she leaves camp crying? I don't think I even intended to offend someone this time. Was it something I said?

At least I got to hear our voice again.

Hopefully, if we ever do talk again, I won't make her cry.

If I have to go back to PineClan with this on my shoulders, I probably won't forgive myself and feel like shit for the rest of my life.

I had one chance to actually make something resembling a friend and I let it all go to shit.

…

FUCK!

* * *

"_How'd the meeting go?"_

"We need to talk. In private."

"..."

"..."

"_That bad, huh?"_

"In short, we need to double our patrols, increase our efforts in battle-training the apprentices and reinforce the camp as soon as possible."

"_Holy shit."_

"They meant to provoke us. This was an active threat."

"_What the hell does Greenstar want from us?"_

"The Strip."

"_Why?! We've had it for moons and they haven't complained."_

"I can't speak for them. But I can speak for us."

"_And what do we say?"_

"Tell your brother that he's gotta rise up. He's leading our defense patrol if he can keep his shit together."

"_He'll be thrilled."_

"And Flowertail?"

"_Sir?"_

"Call everyone to the Highstone."

"_What do I say?"_

"Prepare for war."

* * *

Okay, then.

I really have nothing to say.

The only way StarClan is willing to listen to me is if they're planning something.

Considering Flowertail is telling everyone to prepare for battle right after I get taken into their camp, it's hard to think they're not.

I know I should feel happy about getting the war I asked for, but it's how I got it that concerns me.

I may have picked a time for conflict in which I have a bit too much to hide. And if StarClan knows that.

This can't be good, can it?

* * *

**Reviews:**

* * *

**RobinLudgate - (1) I think Bramblestar has one of the best character developments in the series, whereas Crowfeather is an impersonation of sadness squared and Jayfeather is one of the wittiest and (possibly the) best written characters I've seen in a long time ever.**

**(2) Thanks! I made them myself.**

**(3) I see where that came from. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...**

**Ivystorm - That's what we in the writing business like to call "serendipity." It's used by everyone else, but we authors love big words.**

**Yes, the word "aha" deserves a smiley face in my opinion. They wrote "Take on Me" after all.**

* * *

**FOUR-DAY WEEKEND BOIIIS!**

**Disregarding the fact that I have two papers to write by then (*sigh*), this gives me a lot of writing time. And this is the perfect time for that to happen.**

**Hold on to your hats, y'all. I'm about to take you for a ride.**

**Best,**

**~Res**

**(Also thanks for 600 views!)**


	10. The Discomfort of Empathy

**An Acknowledgement of the Discomfort of Empathy**

* * *

_"So you really don't remember anything about how you got attacked."_

"No."

_"Nothing at all? Not even a scent or where you got hurt?"_

"Look, I don't, okay?! If I did know, then I would tell you."

_"...fair enough. Pardon my asking."_

"..."

_"..."_

"...sorry for snapping, it's just..."

_"Is this about Flowertail?"_

"How did you know?"

_"We talked about in on a hunt late last night. And before you get pissed about me knowing it, I just want to say it wasn't your fault."_

"Isn't that what they all say?"

_"I'm serious. I assume that you know nothing about Flowertail's parents?"_

"...no, I don't"

_"Alright, well. The reason why she was so pushy and sensitive is that you may have been attacked by the same cat that killed her parents."_

"...oh shit."

_"The conditions were near the same. The injuries were substantially different, but the cuts were clean of any defining traits of your attacker and you were jumped in the rain to hide any scents, presumably."_

"How the hell was I supposed to know that was a sensitive topic?"

_"You weren't. You just caught her off guard."_

"But that doesn't explain why I feel so shitty about it."

_"There isn't really a good explanation, unfortunately. It's just our sympathy factor. As much as we can try to paint ourselves as heartless, there's always a part where we wish well for the ones we care about."_

"Isn't that a problem, then?"

_"Why would it be?"_

"Well, I'm PineClan. She's IvyClan. Shouldn't that at least raise an eyebrow with you?"

_"Not necessarily. Why do you think the Gathering exists?"_

"..."

_"Listen. We love our Clanmates, but if we spent every single day bearing our claws at everyone else, we'll eventually get sick of each other too. If you treat it right, the Gathering is like a breath of fresh air. We all need at least some time of peace in order to keep our heads cool and sane."_

"...I..."

_"Do you feel like you want to apologize?"_

"I...I don't know."

_"Just know I'm not pressuring you to do anything. I'm pretty sure the medicine cat code rules against that in more cases than one."_

"Oh, StarClan save me."

_"Here, why don't you take a walk? I hear it's a good way to clear your mind. And while you're at it, do some hunting."_

"...alright."

_"Just know that none of us are intending to hold you to any pressure. We're here to figure out who attacked you."_

* * *

What the fuck am I doing?

I'm literally walking in the forest to clear my mind like the introverted hippie I just said I wasn't in Chapter 3.

I shouldn't even be listening to those bitches. They're in an entirely different Clan than I am. Why the fuck am I bending over backward to everything they say?

Although, Clan barriers haven't made much of a difference in how much cats just hate me.

Yes, even though I was attacked yesterday, there are still a number of cats in IvyClan that would much rather not have me around.

Guess who's the notable one?

His name starts with "Alder" and ends with "leap, that son of a bitch."

There are cats that hate me so much that they would be willing to bypass Clan barriers to kill me.

Great.

Well, I might as well try to find Flowertail while I'm out here "meditating" and shit.

But how the hell did I succumb to Fireleaf so quickly?

She can't be that good with others to get to me that quickly.

There's something different about her.

* * *

"Hey."

_"Oh, um...hey."_

"Whatcha doing?"

_"Oh, I'm on break. Just training up the apprentices for the battle."_

"Oh yeah. The battle."

_"I don't know what the hell happened. It seems completely out of the blue that they want to take The Strip back all of a sudden."_

"Yeah...weird."

_"Do you know something about this?"_

"What? No!"

_"Okay, okay. Sorry, I'm just-"_

"Thinking that I'm the most suspicious camp because of just poor coincidence?"

_"No, just-"_

"Listen, I have nothing to do with this. If TorrentClan attacked me, then I want them to lose to you too. That's. All. I. Know."

_"...Fair enough."_

"..."

_"...I should be going."_

"Wait, Flowertail!"

_"Hm?"_

"Just...I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't know, and..."

_"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known, okay?"_

"Yeah..."

_"But I appreciate your concern. And I accept your apology."_

"Thanks."

_"One thing, though."_

"Yes?"

_"When did you get so sentimental?"_

"Oh, fuck off."

_"Hahahahahah."_

"You're real funny, you know that?"

_"Oh, I know that very, very well."_

* * *

**Reviews:**

* * *

**Muziccat91 - Ah, nothing goes as planned in Stripeheart's life. Otherwise, where would the fun be?**

**RobinLudgate - Yeah. Cringe. I'm pretty sure I wrote that section at 1 AM on a school night cause I was bored.**

**Ivystorm - Taaaaaaaaake Ooooooooon Meeeeeeeeeee, (Take on me)**

* * *

**Yeah, this was a pretty disappointing weekend for me.**

**God, writing those papers _sucked_.**

**But they're done, so now hopefully I can get back on track.**

**And brace yourselves. I'm setting up what might be the biggest story twist yet.**

**Best,**

**~Res**

**(Also 750 views whyyy tysm ;-;)**


	11. A Corrupted Soul's Flaws

**A Preliminary Acknowledgement of a Corrupted Soul's Flaws**

* * *

"_Alright everyone, let's move! Move it! Stretch, eat, do whatever you need to do quickly. We need to get moving quickly! Let's go, go, go!"_

"*yawn* What's this about?"

"_Don't you know?_"

"...Sorry, long night. Refresh?"

"_We're sending out the battle patrol to TorrentClan today. We're up this early so we can rearrange the markers and get a response before they can attack camp."_

"Oh...right!"

"_The fuck are you so excited about?_"

"Oh, I'm just ready to whip some TorrentClan ass, get some sweet revenge and all that."

"_Oh, you're not going._"

"...What?"

"_This battle is pointlessly tense enough with just us. If you get involved, PineClan gets involved. That's the last thing we want at this point."_

"So I'm just gonna...sit here and wait?!"

"_That's exactly what you're gonna do. Honestly, you act so much like Alderleap sometimes."_

"The fuck did you just say?"

"_YOU HEARD ME PERFECTLY...oh fuck."_

"THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL?! I accidentally hurt your precious feelings once and now you're trying your hardest to fuck over mine?! What the hell do you think you'll get out of this? Some bullshit confession that this was my plan all along?!"

"..."

"Well?"

"_...you're right. I'm sorry._"

"Hm?"

"_It's just…I don't want this war. For the most part, no one here does. As long as I'm being honest, I'm scared. More scared than I've ever been in my life. I mean, I get how honor's important to some, but when blood is shed, it's shed for another piece of territory we settled on five Gatherings ago. If you can't find a good purpose for a fight, the only thing you feel is scared."_

"..."

"_It's not that I don't trust you. There's just so much I don't understand about all of this. And...there's so much I don't understand about _you._"_

"_..."_

"_I want to, if you let me."_

"..."

"_Think about it. Please. Now, I really need to go."_

"...Good luck."

"_Thanks."_

"..."

"..."

"..."

"*sob*"

* * *

They left.

They're off fighting over the Strip.

They left me behind.

And I just walked out of camp and did something I've never done before.

I cried.

It felt good, y'know? Cathartic. Though nothing will be fixed by this, in the end, I felt like I needed it.

Strangely enough, it wasn't just about Flowertail.

It wasn't just my parents or my Clan, either.

It occurred to me the reason why everyone hates me.

Me.

Maybe it wasn't just the Clan hating me for who I was. Maybe it was for who I became.

The shunning, the damning, the shutting out. All of it was my decision.

And now, I don't think I can go back.

Not now, not ever.

I'm fucked because of me.

And now I hate myself more than ever.

* * *

"_I checked the camp from a distance. It looks like only the queens and two apprentices stayed behind."_

"_Perfect."_

"_So who do we get first?"_

"_The queens. They're the most experienced. If we kill them first, the camp is basically defenseless."_

"_You got it."_

"HEY!"

"_Oh shit! Go! Go!"_

"_Hold up…"_

"_What?"_

"_He's PineClan!"_

"_PineClan? The hell is he doing here?"_

"The fuck do you think you're doing?"

"_Well, I think we should ask you the same thing, PineClan bitch."_

"Doesn't matter. Aren't you two supposed to be fighting in that territory battle you've been bitching about?"

"_How the fuck do you know?"_

"_And why should we care about what you say?"_

"Because I'm willing to kill _any_ heartless motherfucker who's willing to sacrifice morality to end the lives of kits.

"_He's right. I say we ditch the plan and go-"_

"_NO! The fuck are you, a coward? Now, you listen here, you son of a bitch. You're gonna run home to whatever avenue of the Dark Forest you came from and tell absolutely no one you saw this. Aight?"_

"ɴᴏᴛ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ"

"_The fuck did you just say to me, bitch?"_

"Wow. You couldn't hear me? Well, have fun getting your ears checked in the Dark Forest, then."

"_AAAAAAGHH!"_

"_AAAAAH! HOLY SHIT!"_

"_NYAAAAGH! A-*cough*-Ahh-*choke*-hhh…"_

"_WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU JUST KILLED HIM!_"

"..."

"_ARE YOU INSANE?!"_

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"_Wait. No. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! PLEASE! I HAVE A MATE! I HAVE KITS!"_

"Really? Then no kit deserves a father like you."

"_NO! PLEASE! NO-"_

"_..."_

"_AAAAH! AH STARCLAN SAVE ME! AH-*choke*-Ahhh-*cough cough*-whyyy..."_

"_..."_

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...holy...fucking...shit…"

"..."

"..."

"...what the fuck have I done…"

* * *

**Reviews:**

* * *

**Jayfeather's Friend - Pretty sure it's "machinations" and not "mechanisms," but you get my kudos for that Patrick Star reference.**

**And now he's on the line of regretting it. Enigma indeed.**

**RobinLudgate - That's character development for you!**

**Ivystorm - Indeed.**

**PhoenixRune - THE HORROR!**

* * *

**Attention: First Blood**

(I know I did that for Ravenstorm's Fall, but idgaf rn)

**Yes, I was not satisfied at leaving Stripeheart as an emotional little bean. This is a tragedy for a reason.**

**And hold on to your hats.**

**Cause this is where shit gets real **

**Real fucking fast.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	12. Innocence's Postmortem

**Innocence's Postmortem**

* * *

Wow.

I just killed two cats yesterday.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

I don't remember that much of what was happening before or during the fight, but the first thing I do remember is staring at the bodies and my mind screaming "_HOLYFUCKINGSHITYOUJUSTKILLEDTWOGROWNCAATSWHATTHEFUCKDOIDONOW?!"_

Because as much as I think about death, nothing prepares you for the real thing.

Sure, watching some die is something else, but killing someone, ending their life with the work of your own paws…

So I tried every single thing I could do to cover my tracks. Make it look like an accident.

First, I moved the bodies. I unceremoniously elected the delta that connects the river just downstream of the waterfall TorrentClan proudly calls home.

Second, I held each body under the water to wash away my scent for about two minutes each.

Third, I dropped the bodies into the lake. It's not clear at all in this time of year, so odds are with how far I swam out from shore, the bodies won't be found for a good while.

Fourth, I ripped up a couple portions of soil that had clear TorrentClan markings and smeared them on IvyClan's side of the delta to make it look like they slipped and fell.

Fifth and finally, I rolled myself in IvyClan scent to mask myself and rolled over every outlier that would give away an altercation.

That's all I could do. Now all I can do is pray that the wind smooths out the irregularities of the scents and have an existential, life-changing crisis about what the fuck just happened.

I'm realizing that after I devised a plan to cover up my tracks, I didn't feel like I was freaking out.

At all.

Yeah, that ain't concerning.

Though, confession time, there is something potentially dire to think about.

Actually doing the killing?

I liked it.

No, I _loved_ it.

The satisfaction of the claws inside the throat, the driving of the stake at revenge, the feeling of blood seeping into your pads, all of it.

It's invigorating.

Part of me longs to do it again.

Another just wants me to tell the world that I did it. Then maybe people will not fuck with me since they know I'm dangerous.

That's a thought I'll fantasize about for a _long_ time.

And I'll enjoy every second of it to the bitter end.

* * *

**Here it is, folks. The side of Stripeheart I've been planning ever since I thought of him.**

**Stripeheart is a depressed emotional boi no longer!**

**He has begun his transformation into a psychopath.**

**Though I imagine most of you saw this coming.**

**This is probably gonna be the most fun I'll have in a story for a _long_ time.**

**Y'all better be ready for it.**

**Cause the new Stripeheart is coming.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	13. Opening Up Is a Long, Elaborate Process

**Opening Up About Sensitive Topics Is A Long, Elaborate Process**

* * *

"Hey."

"_Hey."_

"..."

"..."

"You okay?"

"_No. You?"_

"No."

"_Fair enough._"

"..."

"..."

"How's…*ahem* he doing?"

"_It's bad. Fireleaf says Alderleap might be wounded beyond saving. She's done all she could, but…"_

"...I'm sorry."

"_Why?_"

"'Why?'"

"_You hated him. He hated you. He attacked you for no good reason. What reason could you possibly have for being sorry for him."_

"..."

"_Look, I appreciate your sympathy, but-_"

"I know what it's like."

"_Do you really?"_

"I...I wasn't supposed to be an only kit. Hell, I was supposed to have three sisters. But from what everyone tells me, they were either dead in the womb or they died shortly after they were born. Then it was just me."

"_Well, I'm sure your parenting was of the overprotective kind, right?"_

"I wouldn't know. I never had parents."

"..._You're kidding._"

"Why would I lie about this?"

"_No, no, it's just...sorry. I shouldn't have asked."_

"Yeah, you're right. But you still seem interested."

"_I...can't understand it. I mean, my parents were murdered, but for a time, I had them. I can't imagine just being forced to live your entire life without them. That must be horrible."_

"It…*sniff*...it is."

"_Are you crying?_"

"What? No. I'm just…*fake yawn* yawning. I tear up when I yawn sometimes."

"_It's okay to cry, y'know?"_

"Hm?"

"_I mean, I do it all the time. In private most times, but I like to do it when I'm frustrated. It gets your feelings out to the world. In the end, it helps clear your mind."_

"..."

"_So, if you need to cry, I'm not gonna judge you._"

"..."

"..."

"Not tonight."

"_Fair enough._"

"So how did the actual battle go?"

"_Um_…"

"..."

"_Oakpaw...my apprentice. He, uh, he got a nasty wound to the chest. It's really deep and was still bleeding by the time I left."_

"Wow...why didn't I know about this?"

"_He asked for some space to get his emotions out. He's in love, y'know?"_

"Already? Bit early, eh?"

"_Yeah. Her name is Rosepaw. Pretty average in the looks department, but she's really sweet, so I can see why he would fall for her."_

"_*sobbing*"_

"Wait, who is that?"

"_Oh no...no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…"_

"Is that…?"

"_WHYYYYY?! WHY HIM?!"_

"_Rosepaw?! What the fuck is going on?"_

"_Oakpaw...H-He just...he…*crying*"_

"_No…"_

"..."

"..."

"*crying*"

"_Stripeheart, he's…_"

"It's okay...it's okay…"

"_NOOOO! *crying*"_

"I'm sorry, Flowertail. *sniff* I'm so, so sorry…"

* * *

**Reviews**

* * *

**Guest - You're right. That was a very uncool move of mine. I deeply apologize for offending you and I'll edit it out immediately. I'm glad you enjoy the story, otherwise.**

**(This review was accidentally deleted by me. I got the stories screwed up when I had to delete a homophobic guest review on "dress-up," one of my other stories. This was not intentional. It's just another case of me not paying attention.)**

**(But seriously. Who puts that kind of guest review in a gay romance fanfic?)**

**RobinLudgate - Bit too little too late there, bud.**

**Ivystorm - Well then, you'll enjoy the final act of the story from here on out.**

* * *

**1000 views.**

**One. Thousand.**

**How the fuck is this possible?**

**This story has one-third the word count of any of my actual stories and still has over double the views.**

**Ladies and gents, I can't thank you enough. All of you inspire me to keep putting my all into this story. In all honesty, I didn't think much of it, but here we are.**

**Thank you so much for your continued support. I love each and every one of you that support me.**

**I'll keep writing as much as I can.**

**For all of you.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	14. Something Like Friends

**An Acknowledgement of Something Like Friends**

* * *

It's been five days since Oakpaw's death.

I still feel sick.

Fireleaf tried her hardest. She said that she tried everything, but there was just too much bleeding. I guess that the good thing out of this is that he supposedly died in his sleep.

And according to Rosepaw, his last words were "I love you."

Damnit, why did StarClan have to take _him_?

Poor Rosepaw. Those two really loved each other. From what I can see, she's completely shattered by his death.

This was a fucking pointless battle, and now we've lost one of our best apprentices.

Yet, in the end, it wasn't all bad.

Alderleap made a miraculous recovery. Somehow, in the night, his bleeding stopped and his wound closed. He's still on poppy seeds, but Fireleaf says that he should be up and ready to go by the Gathering in a couple of days.

And by the end of the battle, we somehow held our ground enough for TorrentClan to retreat. Despite all that it cost, we keep the Strip for another day.

And third, I became friends with Stripeheart.

Well, sort of.

Ever since the battle, we find ourselves talking on patrols. The topics sometimes vary, but most times we talk about ourselves. Yeah, you can tell how self-absorbed we are with ourselves, but we bond over how rough our early lives were. I told him about the murder of my parents, and he told me all about where he was passed between four queens in his first couple days and no one was willing to come forward as his father.

That's disgraceful.

Absolutely disgraceful.

The day after Oakpaw died, I spent most of the walk reminiscing. Eventually, I lost control of my emotions and started crying.

After a substantially awkward moment, he walked closer to me and offered his shoulder.

He never said anything. I kind of wish I could know what was going on in his head, then.

But in all honesty, even if we really don't think of each other as friends, we're pretty fucking close to becoming something like friends anyway.

* * *

_I need to tell her about the bodies._

_I need to tell her about the cats I killed._

_I know that everyone's gonna accuse me at the Gathering._

_I need to tell her._

_*sobbing*_

_No._

_Not now._

_Not today._

_She can't know today._

_Because today, she needs me._

* * *

**Reviews:**

* * *

**The Guest From Yesterday - It's only right. Sometimes when I make characters like these, I go a bit overboard in the early stages. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story.**

**The New Guest - Ok cool.**

**I'm not trying to copy your OC if that's what you're implying.**

**RobinLudgate - Geez, I've been dashing your hopes for two chapters straight. What do I even call that? A negative power trip?**

* * *

**So Oakpaw's dead.**

**That's pretty much all I have to say.**

**GUYSSTRIPEHEARTANDFLOWERTAILJUSTMIGHTBEFALLINGINLOVEOMGOMGOMG**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	15. Ifs, Thens and Goodbyes

**A Hesitant Acknowledgement of Ifs, Thens and and Goodbyes**

* * *

"_Morning."_

"Morning."

"_You wanna share?"_

"No, I'm on a diet from eating."

"..."

"..."

"_The Gathering's tonight."_

"Yeah…"

"_You know how that's gonna work?"_

"You mind reminding me?"

"_*sigh* I don't know how Rainstar's gonna go about it. Something about asking Squirrelstar about his safety from your attacker. But it's her call. It's out of IvyClan's control on where you stay for the time being."_

"..."

"_You seem upset."_

"You think? After all of these years of being alone, I can finally find that one cat in the world who I can really talk to, and now it's out of my control on whether I can see you again."

"..."

"You're the one cat who can actually empathize with me! Hell, you're the one cat who genuinely _cares_ about me!"

"_Stripeheart, that's not true…_"

"It is true! Either every cat hates me or every cat ignores me in PineClan! I don't want to go back to that! No one does."

"_Stripeheart, no Clan can possibly be that negligent and apathetic to one single cat. Sure, I get how cats may be suspicious that you spent just under a moon with a different Clan, but I'm sure everything will be alright someday."_

"It won't"

"_And why is that?_"

"Because PineClan doesn't have _you!_"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...ᴏʜ sʜɪᴛ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀᴅ..."

"*_chuckling*_"

"Hm?"

"_Thank you, Stripeheart."_

"Th-thank you?"

"_That's really sweet of you. You really are one of the best cats I've ever met."_

"I...am?"

"_Listen, I do hope you stay here for a while longer. I really enjoy your company. But even if you do go back, this isn't the end. Even though we're in different Clans, no rules can stop us from being friends."_

"But I'm worried PineClan themselves won't allow it."

"_Don't worry about it. If they do for whatever reason, we'll find a way. We've been through so much shit together, they have no right to cut off our choice of friendship, too."_

"Heh. Damn right."

"'_Alright. I've gotta go talk to Rainstar. See you around."_

"..."

"..."

"Flowertail?"

"_Yeah?_"

"Thank you. For everything."

"You're_ saying thank you?"_

"Fuck off. Can you just allow me to be a tad heartfelt for once?"

"_*nuzzling*_"

"..."

"..."

"_Yes. Yes, I can."_

"Uh…*cough* wow. I…"

"_Wasn't expecting it?"_

"Little bit."

"_Sorry about that."_

"No, no, I liked it."

"_Did you?"_

"Yeah. Not that I'm...mentally prepared to...do it again or anything, just…"

"_Yeah, alright. No need to confuse yourself even more."_

"Thanks."

"_Yeah. See you around."_

"See ya."

* * *

Wow.

Holy shit.

I'm in love.

I'm actually, literally, by definition in love.

_Me!_

Yeah, I feel great, but I've never been so terrified in my life.

I killed two cats.

Everyone's already gonna blame me tonight only because I was in IvyClan.

But I cannot allow them to get concrete proof that I am a killer.

For my own safety.

For Flowertail.

* * *

"_And out of this scrimmage, it is with regret that we announce the deaths of two of our own warriors, Reedstorm and Mousefoot. Their cause of death appears to be a skirmish in which they fell into the river and either drowned or shattered their skulls."_

"_Very sorry for your loss, Greenstar. Do you have any evidence of foul play, possibly?"_

"_No, Squirrelstar. There is evidence of a skirmish where their bodies were found, though-"_

_If I may, Greenstar, can I ask what your warriors could possibly be doing beyond the battlefield if they were found on _our_ territory?"_

"_..."_

"_Well?"_

"I know who did it!"

"_Excuse me?"_

"_What is it, Streamwhisker?"_

"It was Stripeheart of PineClan! And I have the evidence to prove it!"

* * *

**Reviews**

* * *

**RobinLudgate - There there. He probably wasn't going to have much relevance, anyways.**

**Jayfeather's Friend - Yep. He's been extraordinarily hard to craft. I'm glad that one of the most talented writers on this site I know can appreciate him as well.**

* * *

[An excerpt of a conversation between Jayfeather's Friend and myself on the roleplay forum we use)

**Jay: I am humbled.**

**Res: Holy shit, if this worked on you...**

**I'm gonna have so much fun on "thoughts and words"**

**Jay: oh you bastard.**

**I'm looking forward to it.**

**:)**

* * *

**You better watch out.**

**The real shit has already begun.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	16. The Manifestation of the Revenge Complex

**An Acknowledgement of the Manifestation of the Revenge Complex**

* * *

"_Hey, PineClan bitch!"_

"Oh StarClan, the fuck do you want?"

"_Didn't feel like talking much tonight?_"

"Yeah, basically. I didn't choose to self-incriminate myself by defending myself from a false accusation."

"_Oh, that's how you think of it, eh?"_

"You accused me of murder with minimal, shit proof and you expect me to be scared?"

"_I'll have you know that Reedstorm was my _brother_, you bastard."_

"Oh, that makes sense. For all I know, I can see where the resemblance in brains comes from."

"..."

"Now, if you excuse me-"

"_YOU MOTHERFUCKER!_"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"_AH! Grk-_"

"Now then, down to business."

"_The fuck are you doin- AH STARCLAN!_"

"You know, I can see how I would have figured out how you two were close…"

"_AAAGH! STOP! PLEASE! AAAAH!"_

"Your fur resembles the other. You have the same eye color."

"AH! *choke* nngh...urgh…"

"And I bet you have the exact same hole inside your skull, too."

"*sniff* i'm sorry...please...stop…"

"Let's have a look inside to check, shall we?"

"Wait, what? NO AH! NO! PLEASE! RAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"..."

"*cough* *cough* *sputter*"

"..."

"You...son...of a…"

"..."

"..."

"Fuck."

* * *

Alright, time to do this again.

Except for this time, I decided to make it harder by covering up a murder that obviously looks like a murder.

Step 1: Wash. Wash off really well in a short amount of time.

Step 2: Let the body bleed and break off a big branch. Move the body underneath it and let it drop on the carcass so it looks like the wind broke it off by either accident or (even better), the smiting of StarClan.

Step 3: Smother myself in TorrentClan scent and beat myself up enough to look like there was a skirmish.

Step 4: Fake a limp until my leg tenses up and I actually have a real limp.

Step 5: Go back to PineClan and pray that Rowanfur doesn't try to kill me again.

Cause honestly, this is the worst time in the world to do this again.

* * *

"_Flowertail!_"

"Jeez, Alderleap, no need to shout! What's wrong?"

"_We got a problem. A big fucking problem!"_

"Okay, okay. Slow. Down. What is this 'big fucking problem' that you speak of?"

"_You know Streamwhisker? The guy that shredded Stripeheart for murdering those two TorrentClan cats, supposedly?"_

"Okay, it wasn't much of a 'shredding,' but yes, I know who that is. Why?"

"_He's dead!_"

"..."

"..."

"No...no no no no no."

"_Flowertail, we've been harboring a murderer for over a moon!"_

"No no no no no."

"_We have to attack PineClan! We have to stop this killer!_"

"No no no. We are not doing anything until we have enough proof to dictate that this was a murder. How do you know it was a murderer and not a 'freak accident?'"

"_I checked. It looks like he was crushed by a branch, but the branch is too small to do that much damage to a cat. I'm pretty sure he was beaten to death!"_

"..."

"_Sis?"_

"Excuse me a moment."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Oh Stripeheart, what have you done?"

* * *

**Reviews (As they get lesser and lesser by every passing minute)**

* * *

**Jayfeather's Friend - Three* cats dying**

**RobinLudgate - Might as well sugarcoat the final happy moments in this fanfic**

* * *

**Something is coming.**

**Something big.**

**Something horrible.**

**And that something is this.**

**I'm sick. I've been steamrolled by a horrible cold.**

**Oh yeah, and a lot of cats will die in the next two chapters. I feel that's important as well.**

**But I'm sick, so sorry if it is a while in advance.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	17. Mild Separation Anxiety

**An Acknowledgement of Mild Separation Anxiety**

* * *

Today was horrible.

Absolutely horrible.

Let me give you a brief summary.

I returned to PineClan for the first time in almost a moon right after preparing Streamwhisker's body to realize that I had stayed out too late.

Squirrelstar was at the entrance waiting for me.

She interrogated me on why I was so late from the Gathering and why I had scars all over me. I told her that Streamwhisker jumped me, which I proved from the mingling of TorrentClan's scent with my own, but she didn't buy shit.

Not the fact that I was in a fight, that I sold with no doubt. But that I wasn't the one who provoked it.

Seriously? She doesn't even listen to the word of one of her own warriors _who is obviously wounded_. What kind of leader is she?

She hates me so much it doesn't even make sense.

She sent me to the medicine den, where Rowanfur would "treat my wounds." I am now convinced that she is aware that Rowanfur is trying to kill me and she doesn't give a fuck.

Great.

Though it's a shame that Rowanfur's methods of murder were...conventional to say the least.

You know the ways Rowanfur tried to kill me in Chapter 4?

He did the exact same thing, step by step. Hemlock, deathberries, purposeful bleeding, he did it all.

Actually, the bleeding seemed like an attempt to make my wounds get infected, which he didn't do before because the wound was already infected, so at least he tried to do something original.

But it doesn't make sense. There is no good reason why everyone in PineClan believes I'm the murderer and wants me to die without even allowing me to explain myself.

I can't go on living a life like this.

I need to find Flowertail. I need to see her again.

Because she'll find it in herself to understand my pain.

She always has.

* * *

"_You know there's no possible way that's accurate, right?_"

"Yeah, but I'm still worried about him. If there's even a chance that the majority of PineClan hate him to that degree, he's in great danger."

"_He'll be fine. He's a bright cat, he's savvy, he knows when he's in danger and he'll react well. Hell, you seemed to trust in him a great deal when he was here."_

"..."

"_Oh, StarClan be damned. You love him, don't you?"_

"...possibly."

"..."

"Please don't tell anyone! I couldn't help it! He's just so nice to me, so sympathetic, so-"

"_I get it. I get it. Love is a curse, and we're all victims under its spell. Believe me, I had to battle those feelings a lot when I was an apprentice."_

"But I'm not an apprentice! I'm the fucking deputy!"

_"Everything's gonna be fine. Why don't we take a walk so you can ramble in private?"_

"That would be nice, but Rainstar's out. He told me to stay in camp for the time being?"

"_What for?"_

"I...I may have convinced him to request Squirrelstar to keep him here for another moon, you know, BSing an argument that he's not safe in PineClan."

"_Oh...okay."_

"You seem nervous."

"_I'm not, I just-"_

"**FIRELEAF!**"

"The fuck?"

"_Shit...shit, shit, shit, shit, shit._"

"What the hell is going on?"

"_He knows."_

"Knows what?"

"..."

"KNOWS WHAT?!"

"**Fireleaf.**"

"_Rainstar._"

"**My den. Now. You have some explaining to do.**"

* * *

**Reviews**

* * *

**RobinLudgate - Please don't start a cult. This story is dark enough.**

**Ivystorm**** \- lol**

* * *

**I think I win the award for Most Predictable Twist.**

**Go**** ahead. Why is Fireleaf in trouble?****I'm concerned I made it real obvious, tho. Let me know if I did.**

**Best****,**

**~Res**


	18. In The Eye Of A Hurricane

**"In The Eye Of A Hurricane, There Is Quiet For Just A Moment"**

* * *

-lin manuel-miranda, "hurricane," from hamilton: an american musical

* * *

I'm waiting.

I escaped the PineClan camp. I got out of another life-threatening night with Rowanfur by scoring an evening hunting patrol by myself, somehow.

I made it to the IvyClan border with no cats or suspicion following, somehow.

Now all I need to do is wait.

Pray that StarClan will forgive me for wishing for a deadly war and killing three TorrentClan cats and give me one last chance at a miracle.

One last escape from my hateful home.

One last feeling of gratefulness.

One last night with her.

She is my last hope.

* * *

_I'm running._

_I escaped the IvyClan camp. I found a path to escape this horrible night by scoring an evening hunting patrol by myself, somehow._

_I made it out of came with no cats willing to sacrifice their time or outrage to sympathize with me._

_Now all I can do is run._

_Pray that StarClan will grant me wings and let me fly away from this revelation. Pray they will forgive me for falling for the tom I want to see._

_One last escape from my deceptive home._

_One last feeling of comfort._

_One last night with him._

_He is my last hope._

* * *

Is this love?

Opening yourself up to wait on a dock for a ship that might never come?

Longing for someone that makes you accept you, at least for a couple of moments?

Finding the ability to look beyond the sex, beyond the kits, beyond the physical things? (And yes, this comes from the mind of a virgin.)

Believing that you are only good when she is around?

Is that what love is?

If not, then what _is_ wrong with me?

* * *

_Fireleaf's gone._

_I'll never see her again._

_WHY?_

_Why did she do what she did?_

_She knew what was at risk._

_I want to hate her so much._

_I want to be like everyone else._

_But I can't._

_What _is _wrong with me?_

* * *

I have to believe.

If it is love, then I know why I'm here.

If it's not, then why am I here?

She's better than every single motherfucking bastard that surrounds me daily.

She is the only one that cares.

So why don't I leave?

Because wherever I go, I won't be happy if she's not here with me.

IvyClan is the only place I can go where I'll be happy. At peace.

And they have every reason to turn me away.

I can't leave. Not yet.

Not until I have every reason to believe she will be by my side.

I have to believe.

* * *

_I have to believe._

_I need him to hold me._

_Grant my selfish wish for solace._

_I need to cry yet I can't be alone._

_He's the only cat that can save me._

_I have to believe he'll be there, waiting for me._

* * *

"Flowertail!"

"_Stripeheart?!"_

"You came!"

"_You came!_"

"..."

"*_sobbing*_"

"Hey, hey. It's alright. Everything will be alright."

"_I'm so sorry, Stripeheart! I'm so sorry!"_

"Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry about."

"_I have every reason to be sorry about everything!_"

"Hey. Not now. You can tell me all about it later."

"_W-Why?"_

"Because all I need is you here. That's all that matters."

"*_sniff_*"

"..."

"...*_sniff*_"

"Flowertail?"

"_Stripeheart?_"

"I…"

"..."

"I think I love you."

"..."

"..."

"_Stripeheart?_"

"Flowertail?"

"_I think I love you too._"

* * *

I never thought I'd have to leave it all behind.

My life. My herbs. My home.

All of it, gone just like that.

I can go around and blame anyone for this, but what good will that do?

We were all innocent once. Why prejudice against our pasts more than we already do?

If we were judged by our mistakes, then the Clans would look a lot smaller by now.

But I did not make a mistake. A mistake is truly a mistake if you realize and regret it.

I made a choice. It was a poor choice, granted, but I regret nothing from that choice.

But it broke my heart to see that I brought so much pain to the world.

To him.

So now I'm forced to say goodbye.

To IvyClan.

To Rainstar, who I once considered one of my closest friends.

To Flowertail, who I suspect I'll see again, whether anyone likes it or not.

And to Stripeheart.

The cat I'd stupidly never known how much pain I brought down on him.

To my son.

* * *

**BOOM! PLOT TWIST!**

**Damn, that felt good.**

**Now, I know that there are a lot of questions that I have to answer.**

**If Fireleaf was Stripeheart's mother, how did she fake her death?**

**How did the Clan keep the fact that Stripheart's mother was a medicine cat from another Clan quiet from him for so long?**

**And the million-dollar question: Who is the father?**

**All of this will be answered soon.**

**Most loose ends will be tied.**

**And y'all will get answers.**

**Soon, but not quite "next chapter" soon.**

**Because if you've paid attention to Stripeheart's behavior on this topic, you know we now have a time bomb on our hands.**

**This is gonna be fun.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	19. The Storm

**The Storm**

* * *

"_I never knew the stars could shine so brightly."_

"Really?"

"_What?"_

"You could say anything to me, _literally anything_, and you choose the cliché observation?"

"_Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend your bloated ego?"_

"I do not have a bloated ego! I'm just 'politely requesting' that we spice it up a little. You know, we got all night."

"_Okay, when a tom and a she-cat love each other very much-"_

"That's not at all what I meant and you know it."

"_Oh really? Then what exactly do you mean by "spice it up a little?'"_

"Well, I just thought that there would be more than staring at the stars and reciting things our parents probably said to each other."

"..."

"What?"

"_Um, nothing. I'll tell you later._"

"Why wait? We've got all night. You can tell me anything and I'll probably be fine with it."

"_Okay, so, um...you really know nothing about your parents?"_

"No…?"

"_No distinctive features? No scent?"_

"I think I've gone over this already. You trying to make me tear up or something?"

"_No, it's just…*sigh*"_

"..."

"_What do you want to talk about tonight? Cause this can't just be it, right?"_

"I mean, besides the obvious?"

"_No, no, no. I'm not ready yet."_

"Yeah, neither am I. Just...asserting your opinion or whatever that shit is called."

"_Okay."_

"..."

"..."

"You seem upset."

"_Okay, so there is something I need to tell you about._"

"Yeah?"

"_*sniff*"_

"...Flowertail?"

"_Um...Fireleaf, she…"_

"Take your time. What about Fireleaf?"

"_She...she was exiled today._"

"..."

"_*sobbing*"_

"..."

"_*sobbing*"_

"...w-what?"

"_Stripeheart, why her? *crying*"_

"She was so kind to me. What could she possibly do?"

"_She broke...the medicine code...S-She…"_

"..."

"_She took a mate, Stripeheart. She took a mate and had kits."_

* * *

"**Fireleaf, you have been accused of violating the medicine cat code and the warrior code on several major counts, including taking a mate, mating with that tom and bearing kits in secrecy, all with a tom from another Clan."**

"..."

"**Do you have any response to these counts?"**

"..."

"**Nothing?"**

"They are true. All of them."

"_*gasping*"_

"**So you admit to violating the codes you **_**swore to follow**_**?"**

"My younger, immature self will admit that, yes."

"**But your present self will not?"**

"It's not like I have a choice. My present self cannot speak for my past if the past speaks for me already."

"**You do realize the grave consequences of these counts, right?"**

"That I have been aware of my whole life."

"..."

"..."

"**I'm disappointed in you, Fireleaf. All of us are. You are one of the best medicine cats the forest has ever seen. I would have hoped that you wouldn't have made this very, very poor choice."**

"I can assure you, Rainstar, that I was most certainly not 'one of the best medicine cats the forest has ever seen' when I made this choice."

"**Excuse me?"**

"I was young when I made this choice. I was still grieving over Moonstorm's death. It was a mistake, I know, but it was this mistake that inspired me to work as hard as I have. And now knowing my kits are still out there, I still work hard, hoping I'll get the opportunity to see them one day-"

"**Excuse me, Fireleaf, but did you say that the kits are still alive?"**

"..."

"**..."**

"...yes."

"**Fireleaf, did you give away these kits to a different Clan?"**

"Where did that conclusion come from?"

"**If you are so sure of the safety of your kits, how could you have known unless they were close by?"**

"..."

"**Fireleaf, where are your kits?"**

"Kit. And he's in PineClan."

"_*murmuring*"_

"**Fireleaf, is Stripeheart your son?"**

"..."

"**..."**

"Yes."

"_*CHAOS*"_

"**Fireleaf, if you are the mother, who is the father?"**

"..."

"**Well?"**

* * *

"..."

"_I'm sorry, Stripeheart."_

"..."

"_I'm so, so, so sorry."_

"..."

"_..."_

"I have to go."

"_Stripeheart?"_

"I have some business to do at home."

"_Stripeheart, no!"_

"I'm sorry."

"_NO!"_

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"_STRIPEHEART!"_

"..."

"..._oh StarClan save him…"_

* * *

I need to sharpen my claws.

I need a lot of moss.

I need deathberries.

And I need to get ready for a long, long night.

Because tonight, lots of cats die.

About fucking time.

Tonight.

_He_ dies.

* * *

**Reviews**

* * *

**RobinLudgate - The next question you ask is "How long will it last now?"**

**DappledleafTheBootiful - Your wish shall be granted with the next chapter. Trust me...**

**Jayfeather's Friend - You have no idea...heheheh**

* * *

**I suck at playful suggestive banter.**

**No, this story won't turn into a lemon. It was just some conventional conversation to make their talk more awkward. It'll probably never come up again.**

**Also, lots of cats die next chapter.**

**Trust me on this one. The climax is coming fast.**

**I have a feeling a lot of you will enjoy it.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	20. How to Commit Genocide

**How to Commit Genocide in Ten Simplified Steps**

* * *

I don't know why I waited to do this.

But now I simply can't help it.

They deserve this.

Every. Fucking. Part of it.

Alright, time to pull this off.

* * *

Step 1: Get moss. The plan falls apart if someone escapes to get help. The kills need to be silent.

Step 2: Get death berries. Extract the seeds, catch some prey and slip the crushed seeds into the bodies. This should allow the venom to contaminate the inside and make it fatal to eat.

Step 3: Sharpen my claws as much as I can. As I said, I need to move fast, so they need to penetrate deep and quickly.

Step 4: Inconspicuously slip into camp. Drop the mice into the fresh-kill pile for the excuse that I decided to go hunting in a worst-case-scenario.

Step 5: Split the moss up. One for each cat and keep the wad nearby. If someone gets enough sound to call for help, I need to do this as fast as I can.

Step 6: Use the fact that the majority of PineClan are deep sleepers to my advantage. Open the jaw slowly as to not wake them.

Step 7: Stuff the moss into the mouth. Close the jaw slowly and set paw just above it so the jaw can be clamped and held shut if necessary.

Step 8: Stay out of eyesight so there can be no recognizable features the victim can identify before they die. (Pretty pointless in the long run since theoretically, StarClan is watching over me, but eh. Satisfies my logical paranoia enough to shut the fuck up.)

Step 9: Stab the throat. Wait a couple seconds. Revel in the victim's hopelessness. Complete with a slash to seal the kill.

Step 10: Repeat steps 5-9. Move efficiently, as the scent of blood will become a factor as more cats die.

When finished, take a moment to revel in the handiwork, then wash yourself off and pretend like you were sleeping the whole time.

* * *

Unfortunately, I was not able to kill everyone in the warriors' den.

Yes, go ahead and boo if you must.

By the time I got to the seventh cat, he had accidentally inhaled the moss and started choking. So because of that sloppy kill, I called it a night there. Besides, if I executed everyone, there would be no one to eat the prey and that would be a shameful waste of food.

Sure enough, the screams and wails my ears yearned for fed my silent satisfaction not too long after I calmed myself to sleep.

They threw accusations everywhere, and it wasn't long before they landed on my shoulders.

But what proof did they have?

So I not only denied them, I _lit into_ them for even accusing me in the first place, calling myself a product of their own abuse.

Some ignored me, of course, but some actually apologized to me.

Makes me _almost, but not quite_ feel bad for them about the contaminated prey they were about to eat.

They held a memorial, which I pulled a decent facade of mild grief for, before they broke to attempt to go about their regular duties.

After much convincing, I persuaded Squirrelstar to let me go on a patrol to "clear my mind." An attack like this needed just the right amount of sucker punch for her to allow me to go alone so soon, and I nailed it.

I had one last place to go. To finish off this final blow.

It was the half-moon yesterday. Everyone (sans Fireleaf) was talking with StarClan overnight.

I had one last job to do before I could run.

But I hung back and watched the clearing for a couple more moments.

And I only ran when I saw five more cats begin to choke to death.

* * *

"_Yeah, thanks. See you next half-moon."_

"..."

"..."

"..."

"_Come on out, Stripeheart. You're not fooling anyone."_

"..."

"_There we go. Now, are you here to tell me you finally got the balls to try and kill me?"_

"I didn't need courage, old tom. I just needed to pick the right time."

"_And exactly how many cats did you need to kill in order to even think about that time?"_

"Excuse me?"

"_Oh, you obviously got through some execution to have this much adrenaline exhibiting. So tell me. How many did you kill over the last three days?"_

"Sixteen."

"_...Sixteen?"_

"Sixteen."

"_..."_

"..."

"_I'm disappointed, Stripeheart. No son of mine would wait that long to try to kill someone like me."_

"I never asked for your opinion, you son of a bitch."

"_Why the sudden vulgarity, Stripes?"_

"Because this is the end for you, _father_. You know it as well as I do."

* * *

**Here it is.**

**The chapter all of you have been waiting for.**

**I hope it cools off your bloodlust for at least a couple more chapters.**

**There are 3-5 chapters left in the story, I think, plus an epilogue, so the end is near.**

**I will not kill off thirteen cats in a chapter ever again, I think.**

**But the killing will not stop for a long while.**

**Trust me.**

**I hope you enjoyed this highly-anticipated chapter.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	21. Worthless

**Worthless**

* * *

"UNF!"

"_I will admit...Your swipes have gained a bit of sting over the years."_

"*cough* *spit* You could have at least tried to take care of me. Not try to kill me at every opportunity you had."

"_Wow. Does everything have to be broken down for you?"_

"YOU'RE MY FATHER! I SHOULD AT LEAST GET TO KNOW WHY YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!"

"_After all these years, why ask now?"_

"BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE THE FATHER!"

"_Why am I suddenly supposed to believe I am your father?"_

"Oh, cut the bullshit. You literally called me your son."

"_And what? I'm supposed to love you just because? It's not like you gave anyone a reason to even get close to you."_

"YES I-"

"_Face it, Stripeheart. You may have come from me, but that holds no bearing on whether I love you or not."_

"IT'S YOUR FUCKING OBLIGATION!"

"_IT'S A CHOICE. AND IT'S A CHOICE I DECIDED NOT TO WASTE MY TIME ON!"_

"..."

"_You think the world hates you. You think everyone around you abuses you. And you're right."_

"..."

"_You're a mistake, Stripeheart. Your entire life is a massive screw-up. You should have never been born."_

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"AAAAAAGH!"

"_You say you killed fifteen cats, yet you fight like a kit."_

"I'll…*cough*...I'm gonna kill you."

"_With how today has gone, probably. But in the end, that doesn't matter."_

"HOW?! You'll be dead, rotting in the Dark Forest like all of the other sons of bitches like you."

"_...Why do you think everyone hates you, Stripeheart?"_

"..."

"_Take your time. I have all day."_

"I…"

"_When you were born, Squirrelstar saw my resemblance immediately. I was forced to confess, but I managed to...cut a small deal with her."_

"To what, make everyone in PineClan hate me?"

"_No, no, no. She demanded that if I were to remain in PineClan, I would need to kill you."_

"..."

"_And when I found that three of the kits were stillborn, my work got a whole lot easier."_

"You...why…"

"_But I couldn't just kill you. Slitting the throat of your innocent self would...take away the thrill, if you know what I mean."_

"What?"

"_So I waited. And lo and behold, the day came."_

"You're just as bad a psycho as I am…"

"_Do you happen to recall, Stripeheart, the day where you went on your first border patrol?"_

"..."

"_It was a rather drab day. Rain, gray skies…"_

"...oh StarClan…"

"_Do you recall how you were the only one to keep innocently wandering into the different territories."_

"...no...it's not possible…"

"_And do you remember, Stripeheart, how IvyClan sent a battle patrol?"_

"...it's not true…"

"_Because two of their best warriors died there?"_

"..."

"_They don't hate you for who you are, Stripeheart. They hate you for what I created you to be."_

"*sob*"

"_Because when cats are scared, they believe everything."_

"*sobbing*"

"_You gonna cry now? What good is that gonna do?"_

"*sobbing*"

"_Get up, you piece of shit! GET UP!"_

"*crying*"

"_YOU'RE WORTHLESS! AN ABSOLUTE PUSHOVER! A SHAMEFUL STAIN ON EVERYONE'S LIFE!"_

"*wailing*"

"_NO ONE CARES FOR YOU! NO ONE LOVES YOU! NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU! EVER!"_

"...i hate you."

"_What?"_

"I hate you."

"_Yes, Shout it. Scream it!"_

"I HATE YOU!"

"_LOUDER"_

"I HATE YOU, YOU HEARTLESS FUCK! **I HATE YOU!"**

"_THEN STAND AND FIGHT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!"_

"**RAAAAAAAAAARGH!"**

"..."

"..."

"_AAAAGH!_"

"**DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!"**

"_AAAgh…*cough cough* oh starclan..."_

"You got...exactly what you deserved...you bitch…."

"_*chuckling*"_

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"_*laughing*"_

"**SHUT UP!**"

"_Ohhh...oh Stripeheart, you just made a horrible mistake."_

"I'm gonna rip you apart, piece by piece..."

"_Oh, shred me all you want. But *choke* fear is invincible."_

"The fuck does that mean?"

"_I ruined your life. Destroyed it. You are worthless. Hopeless. You have nothing else that resembles a purpose unless you try to run."_

"..."

"_And because of this day, you will never forget me."_

"..."

"_You will always...fear me, Stripeheart…"_

"..."

"_You...will always...fear me…"_

"_..."_

"..."

"..."

"NYAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"..."

"WHY?! WHY ME?!"

"..."

"**WHY?!"**

"..."

"'*crying*"

"..."

"...what have I done…"

* * *

**And just like that, Stripeheart is morally crushed.**

**The reveals felt a little out of left field to write, but they did tie up some loose ends that felt important.**

**But I think you know the direction this finale is gonna go.**

**The end is nigh. Prepare for more feels next couple chapters.**

**Best,**

**~Res**

**(Also 2,000 views! Thanks so much!)**


	22. Empty

**Empty**

* * *

…

…

…

What am I supposed to say?

…

He's right. Damnit, he's right.

…

To think that all this time, he was trying to kill me so that he could stay. The selfish bastard.

But why didn't he kill me outright? That makes no sense.

…

Wait.

Yes, it does.

He tried, but didn't ever go through with it.

Because he wanted me to live.

Because he wanted me to be alive so he could craft me in his own image.

He made everyone believe I killed those two cats.

That I am a monster.

And now here I am, with the blood of half the Clan on my paws.

There's so much I don't know.

And now there's so much I'll never know.

How did Rowanfur and Fireleaf fall in love?

Was my father always a psychopath?

Was I truly never wanted?

Would things be different if I was raised in IvyClan?

Would I have ever fallen in love with Flowertail?

Flowertail…

Am I even in love with her?

I mean, the only thing we ever truly bonded over was how horrible our lives were.

That's all we talked about.

Sex came up once last night. The first time it ever came up, and it was a unanimous no.

But sex doesn't define love, right?

It's impossible to define love as one singular thing, right?

But if that is the case, then pity doesn't define our love.

Whatever our feelings are, I can no longer believe it's love.

…

StarClan, I am useless.

Worthless.

…

But she isn't.

Maybe she truly believes.

Maybe she knows what love is.

And maybe she can convince me I'm not empty.

At least for a little while.

* * *

"_Stripeheart."_

"..."

"_..."_

"..."

"_..."_

"You know, then?"

"_yes-"_

"Fuck. *sobbing*"

"_..."_

"*sobbing*"

"_Do you regret it?"_

"No. *sniff*"

"_..."_

"..."

"_Why?"_

"...PineC-Clan, they...I told you, they hated me…"

"_Stripheart-"_

"ROWANFUR'S MY FATHER! HE MANIPULATED ME! HE CONVINCED THE CLAN TO HATE ME SO THAT I COULD LOSE MY MIND! HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO KILL ME FOR SPORT! ONLY SO THAT I COULD HATE THE CLAN BACK! HE RUINED EVERYTHING! THE SON OF A BITCH RUINED MY LIFE!"

"_...wow."_

"*sniff* Flowertail, he...he…"

"_Hey. Come here."_

"*sniff* *sob*"

"_It's gonna be okay."_

"S-Stop saying that when it's not true."

"_Shhh. Just relax. Relax…"_

"..."

"_..."_

"Flowertail, he did it."

"_What?"_

"It was him. He killed them."

"_..."_

"..."

"_W-Who?"_

"...ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs, ꜰʟᴏᴡᴇʀᴛᴀɪʟ. ʜᴇ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs."

"_*gasp*"_

"I'm sorry, Flowertail. I didn't know-"

"_That son of a bitch…"_

"Flowertail-"

"_ALL THIS TIME! AFTER ALL THIS TIME, IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! WHY?!"_

"..."

"_*sobbing*"_

"I'm s-so sorry, Flowertail."

"_You need to leave."_

"What?"

"_You need to get out of here. Whatever's left of PineClan is gonna come to us. IvyClan will hunt you down. You need to disappear."_

"I can't disappear! Not this soon!"

"_You must! How can you possibly not right now?"_

"Because I can't do it without you."

"_..."_

"I can't trust myself anymore. At this point...I can't do anything without you."

"_*sniff* Stripeheart, you know I can't go-"_

"Today. I know. But we can figure out a way."

"_How? I'm the deputy! The Clan needs me more than ever!"_

"_I_ need you more than ever!"

"..."

"Please?"

"_I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. STRIPEHEART, I DON'T KNOW!"_

"..."

"_*crying* I don't want to leave you, but I can't leave the Clan now, and…"_

"Flowertail."

"_*sobbing* Hm?"_

"Wait."

"_What?"_

"Stay here. Do what you must with IvyClan. Then come away, run, and find me. We'll find each other."

"_But what if-"_

"Shhhh."

"_*sniff*"_

"I love you, Flowertail. No matter what happens, I love you. And I always will."

"_I love you, too."_

"..."

"..."

"Stay safe, Flowertail. I'll be waiting."

"_Do you have to go now?"_

"Better to suck it up now than risk it happening later."

"_You're right."_

"..."

"_Goodbye, Stripeheart."_

"See you in a few days, my love."

"_I love you."_

"I love you, too. Now go."

* * *

What if I've said my last goodbye to her?

What if something goes wrong? What if the Clan bottlenecks and forces her to stay?

No.

I can't let that deter me.

Because right now, she is the only thing I'm living for.

Goodnight, Flowertail.

I hope we can see each other again soon.

* * *

**There are two ways this story can end.**

**I'm**** gonna take a shot in the dark and say that you want one and expect to get the other.**

**I**** don't know how I will end this story yet, but you'll see my decision soon.**

**But**** damn, do I feel powerful knowing I control the destiny of a character now.**

**Best****,**

**~Res**


	23. Lost

**Lost**

* * *

"...and prey seems to be running smoothly across TorrentClan."

"_Thank you, Greenstar. If I may, I would like to call for a moment of silence."_

"...of course. May I ask what about?"

"_It has been a dark couple of nights for PineClan. To have such a betrayal, a murderous holocaust performed by one of their own, is beyond comprehension. It is impossible for us to construct enough sympathy for any sort of compensation."_

"Yes, indeed."

"_Therefore I ask for a moment of silence. For PineClan."_

* * *

You can only say a lie so many times until you yourself believe it is the truth.

You can only say the truth so many times before you begin to doubt it.

* * *

"So you've taken over hospitality responsibilities for PineClan?"

"_Yes. Squirrelstar, Larkmist and the three others that stayed behind are under our care, at least until Stripeheart is confirmed dead, captured or out of the area."_

"I'm impressed. Rainstar would never have the guts to put their hospitality in jeopardy."

"_Well, I'm not Rainstar, Greenstar. I'm a cat who knows cats who are in bad places."_

* * *

If Paris had held off Romeo for a few moments longer, the play would've had a happy ending.

The best-laid plans are built around it and are destroyed by it just as often.

* * *

"_You ever think about him much?"_

"Every single day."

"_He loved you, y'know? Always will up in StarClan."_

"That's why I'm a medicine cat. I'm happiest with StarClan because I'll always be happy around him."

"_Have you talked to him recently?"_

"Just last night, actually."

"_Really?"_

"Yeah. He said waiting sucks, but he'll take his time for me."

* * *

Time is an emotional paradox.

No one can love and hate anything else so passionately.

* * *

"I...I know the conditions of tonight are sudden, but I have confidence that you'll do just fine."

"_R-Really?"_

"Yes, honey. We've always been with you no matter what StarClan says about you. We wouldn't be your parents if we didn't."

"_You're...not mad?"_

"You could have never fixed a mind more broken beyond repair. No one could. But you tried harder than anyone else was willing to."

"_I miss you guys so much…"_

"We know, honey. But hang in there. Your Clan needs you more than ever."

* * *

Time was our unknown enemy this entire time.

Time ruined us.

* * *

"With this life, I give you compassion."

* * *

Time.

* * *

"Endurance."

* * *

It was our enemy all along.

* * *

"Liveliness."

* * *

All the battles we fought together.

* * *

"Fearlessness."

* * *

The fights she helped me through.

* * *

"Hope."

* * *

All of it was a race against time.

* * *

"Pride."

* * *

We never knew.

* * *

"Patience."

* * *

And now she's gone.

* * *

"Courage."

* * *

This is the end.

* * *

"Love."

* * *

We lost.

* * *

"Congratulations, Flowerstar."

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

"_Flowerstar!"_

* * *

**It took me three days to figure out how this story was gonna end.**

**And it took four drafts to come up with this.**

**And I fucking hate this chapter.**

**Because not only is it a directionless ramble, this is technically the end of the story.**

**But I don't know how else this story can end.**

**So in the end, Flowertail became leader of IvyClan and Stripeheart was left out to dry.**

**I'm gonna write two epilogues, hopefully explaining both sides of the story, sometime in the next two weeks.**

**I'm sorry if this is a disappointing way to end this story, but hopefully I can tie loose ends in the next two chapters.**

**But take my word. This was insanely hard to write.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	24. My Name is Flowerstar

**My Name is Flowerstar**

* * *

My name is Flowerstar.

And it's been a hell of a week.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, I'm still in IvyClan. I know you're probably thinking that I took too long.

Yes and no.

I had a plan. I would argue to Rainstar for them to take in the PineClan cats that were still alive and help hunt down Stripeheart. Then, I would take a patrol with Rosepaw, who was appointed interim medicine cat in Fireleaf's indefinite absence, and fake my own death. She would come back, claim that I was hit by a monster and the Clan would go on without me. I would find Stripeheart and all would be right with the world.

Well, I didn't wait too long. I fucked it all up myself.

In my concerns about PineClan and Stripeheart, I didn't realize how horrible Rainstar felt about Fireleaf's exile. He was spending less time outside in daylight, refusing to address the Clan and delaying apprentice ceremonies because he was confining himself to his den.

I didn't see this until I brought up the topic of PineClan to him.

* * *

"No...I can't do anything about PineClan...not now…"

"Excuse me?"

"I'll screw up...I'll fuck everything up like I did with Fireleaf…"

"That's exactly what you're doing now! Waiting on addressing an issue until it affects us! Half of PineClan is dead! And what are you gonna do, persecute them for invading our territory when they come over to ask for help?"

"Absolutely not-"

"That's what you did with Fireleaf! I guarantee you wouldn't have batted an eye if Stripeheart hadn't gone insane!"

"..."

"So are you just gonna allow IvyClan to stand on the side again?"

* * *

All he did was stare at me.

Then he ran out of camp. Faster than I could have allowed myself time to realize what was happening.

He didn't return that night.

I didn't see him until I headed a search party to find him staring into the mountains.

And to everyone's surprise, he announced his resignation as leader of IvyClan.

"I've made too many mistakes in these lifetimes. Too much of a burden placed upon you. It is only best if I grant you the privilege of me cutting association with you rather than you dealing with my sightless mistakes again."

That was the only reason he gave.

I was too shocked to say anything but my farewell as he walked away.

All this time I thought it was to find Fireleaf and beg for her apology.

Until three days later.

When on a normal border patrol the day before my leadership ceremony, I found his body, mangled and rotting on the Thunderpath.

He had commit suicide.

* * *

The leadership ceremony was a fast blur.

There were three things I clearly remember.

I got to see my parents again. They confirmed that Rowanfur had killed them, but forgave me for allowing myself to love Stripeheart.

Turns out, I was not the only one opposed to Rainstar exiling Fireleaf.

I found out that when Rainstar had officially resigned, he had four lives left.

So before I was given my lives, StarClan stripped four of them from me.

I would only have five lives as leader.

And finally, my name was changed.

We spend our kithood and apprenticeship fantasizing about our suffixes, what our names will be, how we'll be defined, but in the midst of our ignorance forget how daunting the prospect actually is.

Everything you do is associated in your name. To listen to that being brushed off and replaced by a clean slate…

It was terrifying. And in many ways, it still is.

But I think you know by now that I have the ability to stay calm in dire circumstances. Most times, at least.

When I returned from that emotional roller-coaster, I appointed Alderleap as deputy.

Yes, the ever aggressive tactician that is my brother.

Yes, even though escalation protocol is his dream come true, I still trust him with my life. He has remained faithful to the Clan all throughout it's battles. He is strong, respected and absolutely deserving to be deputy.

I might have also did it to see the kit-like look on his face when I made the announcement.

I'm gonna enjoy holding that over his head for a long time.

* * *

So what about Stripeheart?

I think about him often. A lot more than you might have expected.

On my second day, I thought of seeing him, talking to him about making efforts to maybe change his looks or become a kittypet nearby so we could still talk.

But I suppose I should have expected the disappointment when I found out that he was gone. Judging from how stale his scent was, he had left the area a long time ago.

I was very upset. Just finding that out ruined the entire day for me.

But I've come to remember that he's still around. Maybe he'll come by. Maybe he'll have found some cat who would bring out the true best in him.

Because, let's be honest here, the more I thought about our relationship, the more I thought of how ridiculous it was. We never really gave ourselves any leeway to open ourselves up. All we did was think we could get away with convincing ourselves it was love.

Anyone can call themselves innocent, but it's the cats that truly work to make themselves and others believe it that have taken to task distancing themselves from it.

We were built off of supposed innocence.

But do I care? Absolutely not.

Everyone around me will remember him as the murderer, the cold-blooded killer who betrayed his Clan and everyone else in the forest.

And yeah. That was a sacrifice he was willing to make.

But to me, he's more. He's a sweet, lonely soul covered by a cold, psychopathic mind that everyone he was supposed to love created for him.

I hope I get to see him again.

With every fiber of by heart.

* * *

So that's my story so far.

We've agreed with Squirrelstar to take them into IvyClan so they can recover among warm company. Honestly, there's no room for mistrust after the abuse they went through.

Alderleap finally decided on a mate and she's expecting kits. At times, I will admit that I'm a little concerned about the...fieryness of the kits at times, but Aldeleap isn't negligent. He's sunshine and rainbows when he's around her.

I'm sure he'll do just fine.

Rosepaw, now Roseleaf, is a full-time medicine cat. She's found her own coping strategies of Oakpaw's death by getting the blessing to talk to him on most nights.

That's some commitment.

The Gathering's in a week. I'm nervous and don't know what to say, but I think I'll figure something out.

But now, I face an even greater challenge. The greatest one I'll ever face.

The rest of my life.

And through everything that's happened to me, the heartbreak, the emotional toil, the decisions, the many hours of crying, you'd think I'd be down for the count.

But not this time.

Now, I've never been more ready.

Bring it on, world.

My name is Flowerstar.

See you around.

* * *

**Contrary to what I said yesterday, I feel great about this chapter.**

**It felt great to give Flowertail a good send-off.**

**And friends, we are down to the final chapter.**

**Where did Stripeheart go?**

**All will be revealed soon. What I do know is that it's going to be extraordinary hard to finish this story.**

**It's been a hell of a ride.**

**Thank you for sticking with me through it all.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


	25. An Insignificant Speck In The Universe

**The Final Thoughts of An Overall Pretty Insignificant Speck In The Universe**

* * *

"_Hey._"

"Oh, hey."

"..."

"..."

"_It's been a while."_

"Yeah. Five weeks, right?"

"_Five weeks._"

"Time flies."

"_Damn right."_

"..."

"..."

"So how's leading IvyClan going? What's it like?"

"_It's...It's intense. Everyone is still shaken up about your killing spree."_

"And even when your leader dies three days after you commit suicide, it doesn't get any harder."

"_Oh, stop lying to me. I know you pushed him into the Thunderpath."_

"..."

"_You knew the stakes. You knew what you would lose. Why did you do it?"_

"I...wanted to give moving on a try."

"_And how'd that go for you?"_

"Well, I thought I had something for a week. Wandered a bit, found a nice she-cat, slept with her a couple times…"

"_And why is she not here?"_

"I realized that...I realized I wasn't ready to move on. This was just a duplication of something authentic. Just an act that would only feel...right if it was with you."

"_I'm flattered._"

"I thought you would be."

"..."

"..."

"_But do you really think that's an excuse as to why you left her?"_

"Let's be honest, she was never happy with me. It was Heat season after all. I did it for her own good."

"_So let me get this straight. You suffocated her until she was unconscious and dragged her to a Twoleg den so that she could have her kits taken away from her and be forced to get a vasectomy, and you think that's for her own good?"_

"...I'm not even gonna question how you know that."

"_You know why I know that, Stripeheart."_

"..."

"_..."_

"You never came for me."

"_..."_

"You're not Flowertail."

"_And for the grand prize, who am I?"_

"*sigh* You're me, and I've been imagining this entire conversation."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"*sigh*"

"..."

"Fuck."

* * *

My name is Stripeheart.

And I've decided to die today.

Come on, you can't say that this would be a big surprise. Five weeks of being disillusioned, Five weeks of impatient, hopeless, pointless waiting. Five weeks that included a three-night-stand and me throwing a she-cat pregnant with my kits to the Twolegs.

Nothing's been the same without her.

Oh, what the fuck am I saying? Nothing in my life has ever been normal. Never in my life have I had a normal routine. Nobody allowed me enough freedom in my life to allow a normal routine.

There is no "same" or "normal" when your life is consistently fluid. Everything comes and goes in waves.

Flowertail's just...stung more.

And I ruined an innocent cat's life because I thought she was coming back for me.

What the fuck was I thinking?

…

Where will I go when I die in a few minutes?

Absolutely not to StarClan. No chance of that.

But what if I don't end up in the Dark Forest?

That'll at least be interesting to ponder? What if my soul is sent somewhere that's not a big, dark box where you're left to wander alone for eternity?

Eh, who am I kidding? Anything more than hell can be called a happy ending.

So as I stand on this cliff, why am I deciding to jump?

Not because I'll be at peace.

Not because I have no purpose in life.

It's because I want to break the cycle.

Every single thing I do ruins someone's life, one way or another. Everyone would be better off.

I would be better off dead for the sake of everyone else in the world.

Holy shit, this is literally the first time I'm doing something for the benefit of the masses.

And it'll be the last thing I'll ever do.

But I'm no martyr. Hell, I'm not even sure no one will think about me when I jump. Maybe some scavengers will thank their lucky stars if they find my body.

The only thing others will remember me for is how much blood I have on my paws, but even then, generations will pass. Cats will forget.

And there will come a glorious day where no one will care to remember the thoughts and words of a satirical, unstable sociopath

I'll be insignificant. Just as Rowanfur said I was.

And that's okay.

Because he was right. All I am is just another speck in the movement of the world, no matter how much of an anomaly I made with my claws.

I'll spend my days waiting in solitude until I fade from existence, when the last cat in the world forgets my name. When all signs and memories of me are purged from the world.

And that makes me happy. Because when that day comes, I'll forget everything forever.

I won't be able to think, feel, exist any longer.

No one deserves to remember me.

This is how things should be.

Alright, I've cynically philosophized enough for one lifetime.

My name is Stripeheart.

Have a good life without me.

You deserve it.

Enjoy.

* * *

**The End**

* * *

**I did it.**

**I fucking did it.**

**And thus ends "the thoughts and words of a satirical, unstable sociopath."**

**Never in my life did I think I was ever going to write "The End."**

**I feel amazing and...extremely depressed at the same time. I fear I won't be able to write something quite like this anymore.**

**A story with 2,700+ views and 80+ reviews.**

**So thank you for helping me make a pedestal that I'd never thought I'd be able to make for this site.**

* * *

**Acknowledgements (Cheesy, I know, but this is a big moment here)**

* * *

**Thanks to my girlfriend, Sea or Xepphyr, who incessantly prodded me with ideas on how to write the back half of this story. I think half of you would have lost interest in this story if she wasn't there to help write it.**

**Thanks to Jayfeather's Friend, my favorite Star Wars junkie and action scene legend on this site who I never thought would be friends with. Your reviews and encouragement was a big part of how I could finish this story.**

**Thanks to all of you that left constant reviews on my story, including RobinLudgate, Ivystorm, Muzzicat91 and DappledleafTheBootiful. One of the driving inspirations of a story is a stream of interest. Thank you for keeping me invested as much in this story as you were.**

**And of course, to everyone else reading this story. You are the unsung, nameless heroes in my small writing career whom I wish I could hug and give free cookies. Thank you for showing your care so that I could care.**

**If you're interested in my writing style, feel free to check out my older short stories. My favorites are "frozen" and "dress-up," personally :P**

**And of course, my priority shifts to "everyone dies at the end" and "recovery." If I can continue at this pace of writing, it will be a very merry Christmas break indeed.**

**But thank you for reading "the thoughts and words of an satirical, unstable sociopath"**

**I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.**

**Best,**

**~Res**


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